Non-Linear Ambitions

I’m not a good long-term planner, it seems. The ability to gaze far into the future and envisage myself there (as well as plan the route I’ll take on this unknown journey) has somehow alluded me and I find myself stumbling (if that is the right word) when it comes to knowing which way I am going; never mind how I am going to get there. (Makes me think of my poor map reading skills on Duke of Edinburgh expeditions as a straggly teenager…though am sure my group really enjoyed the extra 6 mile wrong-route we took during my navigation section in our final expedition. I blame the lack of Kendal Mint Cake...)

This inability to look far ahead is, I have decided, not necessarily a bad thing. Yes, it may mean that I sometimes end up doing things that make no sense to those around me; or I make decisions in a rather higgledy-piggledy way, but that’s fine. Honestly, give it a go if you haven't done so before. Trusting the gut rather than the rational brain is wonderfully refreshing (albeit mildly terrifying at times). Even though the pressure is on from the world around us to always be having plans; to want to set forth and pursue goals, aim far and aim high etc., I’m perfectly happy not quite knowing what or where my future is.

If I am honest, I think this is because I don’t really think the future should be drawn as a line; maybe more of a squiggle perhaps. Or a spiral, or a scattergram. Something non-linear anyway.

  

And why not? Or why couldn’t it be? Who says that forwards and straight on is always the best way to get places? Aren't some of the best journeys those that take round-about routes and diversions; going places not quite expected but having a rather lovely time along the way? And why should our ambitions, hopes and dreams, all have to be linked? Why can't we walk down paths that are not known and have ambitions that are not connected to our past or future selves? Hmm.

Thus it is, in my non-linear meanderings in search of unknown dreams, that I find myself roosting back in Tanzania. 

Again.

Yes, I know I’m supposed to be nestled down in Totnes around about now; polishing my brain cells ready to go back to University and settle down into all things English and tea-loving. But what do you know: somehow, the squiggly line brought me back here instead.

The past few months have thrown up many unexpected and unplanned occurrences (another reason I’m always rather dubious about this idea of long-term thinking…you never know what may be coming around the corner; we’re not fortune tellers after all and putting faith into an invisible non-existent entity (aka The Future) can seem a bit daft if you think about it too hard.) For various reasons, the plans I’d made to move to Devon took a detour that was not of my making. But whilst this happened and seemed a little negative at the time, an unexpected yet exhilarating new direction introduced itself, in the form of a box. A "ThoughtBox" to be more exact. For those who’ve not been bored already, I’ve (inadvertently) started up a little educational venture which has now turned itself into something of a full time job and rather big commitment. And how much fun it is proving to be – spending my time creating lessons for students, exploring some of those bigger questions; “unlearning” ideas from across the globe and revelling all day in a million questions that don’t have any right answers.

Although once upon a last year I may not have been that proficient in web-design, marketing, accounting and online business strategies, I am a fast learner and a hard worker and am enjoying exploring the daily unknowns and challenges of what this little venture is bringing. 

So, for those of you I have not yet badgered who work in schools, or who are connected in some way with education, here’s a thirty second snapshot of what ThoughtBox is all about. (Scroll on down, those who’ve heard it all before!)

ThoughtBox is an online learning resource for schools to encourage thoughtfulness. So often, learning in schools has an end goal, a right answer or a correct way of seeing things. Yet the reality is that life simply doesn’t play out that way. ThoughtBox lessons aim to encourage students to see the world through different eyes; to challenge feelings of empathy and tolerance and to understand the importance of asking questions rather than simply learning answers.

WARNING!! Brazen marketing alert:

Click here to visit the ThoughtBox website, click here to like the Facebook page; and/or click here to watch the little three minute film that provides the stimulus for this week’s ThoughtBox lesson (a little snapshot of the inspiration behind some of the lessons.)

Back to the story.

But what, you may be wondering, has Tanzania got to do with anything thought-boxy? Well, for want of a better reason right now, it is my happy place. It is sometimes hard to explain to people why I am so drawn to this beautiful land (beyond the obvious natural beauty and gregarious people that is). But draw me it does, time and time again it seems. So being back in my house, under the banana trees, staring at the muse that is Mount Meru as I work out the nuances of invoicing; of web-programming; of marketing and of good clarity in lesson-planning is making me smile. And I get to "walk in love" again. Yey.

Plus there are potential Tanzanian links to be made in the skill-sharing elements of ThoughtBox that I am hoping to pursue further in the coming days and months. And being out here affords me a little more time and space to carry on working on the book project; which is in its second editing stage right now.

N.B. I have a spare room in my house here…so for those of you who’ve always wondered if this place is anywhere near as incredible as I write it to be - karibu sana (you’re most welcome). I would love to have you to stay and show you around the place. Cold beers, fresh mangoes and avocadoes on tap.

But what of the hills and dales of Devon? Well, they’re not going anywhere (I hope) and, as I’ve already mused, who knows where I am going to end up…which (in my head) is the perfect equation for Devon and I meeting up sometime in the nearish future; as squiggly as that future may be. PhDs remain on the table; Dartmoor wanderings remain in the pipeline and English living remains chartered on the scattergram and written in the tea-leaves. 

For the time being, however, I’m more than happy not knowing what’s next; instead I’m very much enjoying what is now.